Rise and Whine

Goodness gracious me, this last month has been an absolute blur. For starters, I completely underestimated the impact of jet lag. Secondly, I flew back to Vancouver just in time for allergy season. (Which you and I both know is always a downright walloping.) And third, I indulge in my fair share of rosé.

“CHRISTINE!” The Phantom of the Opera is closing on Broadway. I can’t even talk about it so I will tell you this. The last time I was in New York I turned down tickets to see my favourite musical of all time. “Why?” you ask. Because I said, “all good! I will see it on the next trip.”

And now, you must pardon me while I bang my head on the table.

On a side note, I met a guy once who hit a high E with two Raoul’s and one Javert. As if that little tidbit was not intriguing enough, he didn’t even like musical theatre.

Just a head’s up, like me right now, this post is going to be all over the map. I apologize if you get dizzy.

Did I mention I started a day job? That is right. Just before I skipped hemispheres, I applied for a part-time position sitting in front of a computer at a desk. That sentence blows me away; because all this time working full-time nights in a restaurant, I have been trying to do just that. The truth is, I am my own worst boss. Each time, I set an alarm clock to wake up and write, I make a point of turning it off before bedtime. Now, that I am on someone else’s dime, I have no choice but to rise and whine.

“ It was not long after that he became top-ranked on Grindr, Scruff, and Facebook Marketplace.”

I must admit, another major problem I am having these days is focus. I don’t know whether it is the aftermath of spending so much time at home alone, or simply the fact I am getting older and balder; but I cannot help but notice my neighbours.

These days, the view outside my window is more captivating than anything I can stream on television. While Pandemic Pete puts the finishing touch on dinner, it appears The Stud has ordered in a meal of his own.

I don’t know if you remember, but The Stud moved in across the back lane a few months ago. Part cowboy, part Abercrombie & Fitch model, I was more than happy to welcome him to the neighbourhood, until I learned he was fierce competition.

Scrolling through my phone one night, I was aghast to see his twenty-something face winking back at me. It was not long after that he became top-ranked on Grindr, Scruff, and Facebook Marketplace. Meanwhile, the demand for the Fox Den plummeted like Plexiglass.

The one night I finally managed to invite a gentleman caller in, I looked up from my empty wine glass and asked him why he brought a violin.

“Because you said you wanted to hear me play,” he replied.

“Goodness gracious me. Please, go ahead.”